Atonement - Love and the Law

Starting off a new week to give a talk at Church on Sunday. A phone call came from Brother Reed, a counsellor in the KL branch presidency

I've been extra busy since the start of the year of the Dog and have been "..working like a "Dog" as the song goes. The rush is to finish my book of course and my inspiration is at an all time high due to many factors. As I've been a consistent writer of journals to be named a "Chronicler",  I can make this post a short one by using links to many of my experiences that make up "My Consciousness" which is part of the title/theme of my Book! I can provide these links that can be clicked that will give details to my passion and thoughts or the expression of my Heart and Mind on this topic of Atonement or any topic of the past that I've recorded from the past. I have a good system of remembering things I want to remember.

This dog is a multi-tasker but in reality, focused on only in doing one thing at a time and doing it in an optimal fashion or the best I can. I am able to multi-task switching by a batch process of breaking up time in segments of a day to fulfil the needs of my Body Mind Spirit that can cover different space and time dimensions in what we refer to as one day that includes the night. Self-discipline or Self-mastery is required to do this enabled by one's Consciousness just like a juggler of 3 balls or bowling pins! I have had enough practice over time till my age today!

In my lifetime, I learned to juggle between the 3 domains of life I named as Body Mind Spirit(BMS) where Plato, the famous philosopher of ancient Greece, identified the tripartite soul as one with Appetites, Reason and Spirit. I was just a Chinaman from the East who named it BMS by coincidence or providence, as I somehow started 3 blogs named Familylane(Body), Fastlane(Mind) and Spiritlane(Spirit) to draw 3 columns on a napkin while in New York City of the West remembered in one of my chronicles here. I can connect many things in my Mind that may not be obvious or in the consciousness of others as I had learned about the Holy Spirit just as I was turning 21 years of age with the promise that it will teach me all things!

Body can mean...

Sweating it out in physical work or that stretches my physical self

Going out to do some physical exercises like cycling at the same time meeting the needs of upkeeping good relationships with other physical beings close to me, creating positive emotions, which is kind of a multi tasking activity in itself.

It can also be just going out to meet people or friends for real physically instead of doing it online in cyberspace alone that is popular today.

Mind can mean...

Writing my thoughts in my journals and developing my creative mind to share using latest social media technology

Keeping up my reading of the volumes of books in my personal library of all kinds of topics and book sizes.

Plus writing my own journals and books to be published that will share my knowledge of history, philosophy, the sciences and even technology from the time of the Abacus to the Cloud computing era of today.

Spirit can mean...

Fulfilling church callings like missionary work for the Church to help share the Gospel to others

Paying respect to those who have passed away and doing family history research

Giving lessons or talks at Church where I will pray and read scriptures or anything that can be inspirational, not robotic or mechanical like a broken record or a fixed computer program designed by humans to repeat and repeat the same thing to create what we call a bad habit or addiction without a mind that is empowered to make choices!

The content of the photo above was highlighted in my talk on the theme of the Atonement. In clearing house in the apartment, I opened a drawer that had my wife's old documents to find the two larger envelopes containing our exchange of mails seen as the stack of smaller envelopes above that started when we first met in Singapore again after my mission in June 1982. My letters to her is on the left pile while hers to me was on the right.

I was aware that she had kept all our letters as shared in the year 2005 when I started recording our courtship experience in this same blog found in the following relevant posts: My post with copies of the first page of our letters to each other with her response in her own blog at Retro 1 and Retro 2.

In short, here is my spiritual experience to share :

With the stack of our correspondence letters of ours that discovered, I also found her paper note journals dated 16 June 1982 which I was never aware of as they were not shown to me. It did help me realize why she had so quickly fallen in love with me! She was depressed for not being able to qualify to enter the school of architecture at the prestigious National University of Singapore (NUS) which was her dream career/work for herself. The letter explained that she had slacked in her studies due to a puppy love relationship with a non-member named Jeff who didn't go to Church nor liked her for doing so. Now she did mention to me the name of Jeff as a past boyfriend but I didn't realize it caused her so much stress and when she didn't qualify for her dream opportunity of the future, she felt she was a failure, having never failed to achieved all the things she would target and work hard to achieve.

She got depressed and wrote to her brother Roy already gone to the US to study, to her other brother Clayton in Australia and even to her Branch President named Mark Israelson to share her disappointment at herself, saying she had never failed before to achieve anything she had aimed and worked hard for in the past. I didn't read the actual letters she had sent off but she was diligent to write in English a draft of what she was going to write in each letter later. This was probably due to the fact that she was being more a Chinese educated student of the school of Hwa Chung with less proficiency or confidence in the English language I suppose.

The key word that I marked in her writings was the word "repent" in the sentence saying "I didn't truly and sincerely repent of my sins, serious or minor alike."  To clarify, I know she didn't really commit serious sins and the context of the rest of the paragraph makes it clearer...."The Spirit of my heavenly father has slowly crept out of my heart. I didn't feel the love and peace in me while I'm performing my duties in my callings."

She was indeed depressed, not for a real failure in life that most of us would regard as a 'failure' as she did qualify to study in NUS for a social science course but not architecture that was the desire of her heart and mind. She had also expressed in her writings to both her brothers overseas that she felt family and friends treated her negatively. In her own words, "When they asked me if I was making any plans for my studies, I felt that they were being insincere in asking and they were trying to insult me! That's why I thought of leaving Singapore for my studies in order to run away from all these problems, of course not forgetting the other reason was because I wasn't granted what I wanted in N.U.S.

Deep inside me there was a voice which constantly whispered to me that God would never forsake me during my hours of adversity. And sure enough,I slowly got over with the whole thing and was able to regain my hope of living which was almost lost at one stage....... Perhaps all those trials and tribulations I've been through were meant to teach me humility and courage to accept failures and oppositions. If on the other hand, if things did not happen the way it had, I might not be able to meet this man whom I love so dearly.

I'm pretty positive this time this time that I'm loving the right man. His name is Chong Sun Fu and he's a returned missionary. Mom and Dad had met him before and they both liked him. We first met about two years back when he was about to go on a mission. Of course I didn't fall for him then but I had a strange feeling in me when I first saw him outside the chapel door. I thought I met him somewhere before but I couldn't recall. And it wasn't quite possible that we had met before since he's a Malaysian and had then just returned from Australia after his tertiary education. In fact, this 'strange' familiarity he brought was kept a secret ever since then until now I reveal it to you. Could it be possible that I knew him before I came to earth. Any way, I don't think it is necessary for me to find out the answer now, for time and the future will tell it. "     (Letter dated 13 July 1982)

But the Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send in my name, he shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance, whatsoever I have said unto you.

To be continued....

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